


You deserve to be happy

by the_winter_writer67



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Clint Barton, Awesome Natasha Romanov, Cancer, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped Tony Stark, M/M, Natasha Romanov Feels, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 09:45:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15483018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_winter_writer67/pseuds/the_winter_writer67
Summary: It's been 3 years since the whole thing that broke them apart and now after everything, the team should go back to how it was before to defeat the new enemy ..but what if the enemy knows things that not all of them know?What if it's too late for steve to get back what he had destroyed?what if there is a big secret  that no one really wants to know it?I suck at summeries but give it a try if you love stony(steve/tony),promise you won't regret..





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my best friend Mahtab](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+best+friend+Mahtab).



> hi guys.it's kinda my first fanfiction so I would LOVE to know what you think..also ,English isn't ma first language so please tell me if there's any gramatical or... problems.

"please… Steve…" his face was covered in blood...

Hearing his name, HIS name, not cap or Rogers or any other stupid nicknames that he knew that no longer were for teasing, its just hearing his name from Tony after all this not-so-short time was like a kick, a shock...

He dropped the shield aside.. his eyes were wide, filled with pure terror. he didn't know what got into him. What did he do? He couldn't believe it .he almost killed him..it was like he could now, finally see What he was doing..what he never thought he'd do to him...the only person that he loved and trusted with his life..he had beat him, hurt him, almost KILLED HIM. Almost…. But almost wasn't good enough.he felt like someone has ripped his heart out. it's like someone was squeezing his heart so hard he couldn't breathe..

he looked at Tony, still lying on the cold snowy ground, bloody, breathing heavily...he wanted to go closer, help him up..ask, beg him to forgive him...God, he wanted to do that, he just couldn't..he was frozen, he couldn't move..he didn't dare get closer. He didn't have the heart to. he was shaking and he knew it wasn't because of the cold…. He was terrified.he was lost. He didn't know what to do.

He turned around and with shaky legs walked to where Bucky was lying and helped him up. He was in so much pain. He put his hand over his shoulder and start to walk when he heard something that made him wanna scream, wanna die….

"my father ...he..he made that, you don't deserve it."

He dropped the shield not because of pride .not because he felt offended..no..he dropped it because deep down he knew he didn't deserve it...He almost killed his best friend with the only thing that was supposed to help him, save and protect the ones he loved and cared about...So he dropped the shield and walked out. Afraid that if he'd stay any longer he would fall apart just right there...

___flashback____

-"You know how to make a heart bleed..huh?" Her eyes were red ..she had heard everything..he could bet that she had cried And Natasha Romanov never cries NEVER...

-"I had to..he...He deserves to be happy"... He gives her a sad smile.

-"it's just..." he looked at his hands trying to avoid eye contact. There was a lump in his throat and he couldn't keep it together anymore. He couldn't stop the tears that left his eye..he wanted it all to end..he couldn't do it anymore...He took a deep breath, cleared his throat and looked at her again...

-"there's not much time so.." She couldn't believe it. Now she was angry. She couldn't believe that he had given up. He …Tony Stark … had given up. She blinked furiously and that made other tears to escape...

-"so you gave up?"...she said with a deadly voice...

-"No… I.." she interrupts him

-"you what? You just decided that it's a good time for a little break? For not being you? that now after all the shit you've been through it's time to just give up?"

-"I DIDN’T GIVE UP…. "He yelled...She took a step back.

-"I didn't give up…. "He repeated it. Slowly and tired.

-"But I... I can't destroy his life. I can't be selfish. Not this time. He deserves to be happy…He deserves it. I can't take it from him..he deserves to be happy.."He said the last part mostly to himself...He did the right thing, he chooses the best way, right?

___Steve's POV___

It's been I guess half an hour, I just couldn't move. it's like I was back to the ice. I was freezing, shaking, I couldn't believe it... This is not true right? It must've been a cruel joke, right? he couldn't, wouldn't do that .he said it himself. He ...he wouldn't just...He vision was blurry, his mind was fuzzy .he couldn't make out where he was going. Honestly, he didn't care, he just had to get out of here...


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now the story is starting to begin..

3 years later..  
Cold, empty, coffin…He was screaming but there was no one. He punched the coffin again and again but other than bloody fists it was no use. He was on the verge of tears. breathing was getting hard. like the air was getting sucked out of his lungs, so he screamed again and suddenly he wasn’t in the coffin anymore.

He knew this place, it was painfully familiar. he looked at his hands, they were blood soaked. He looked around and saw a figure lying on the ground, he ran to it. It was Tony, he was lying on a pool of his own blood. The arc reactor was in two pieces and there was a large, bleeding gash on his chest. His face has no color left and if it wasn’t because of the painful sound of his breathing, he would’ve thought that he is dead. He dropped to his knees and put his shaky hands on his chest, trying to stop the bleeding which was impossible. The gash was just too deep and by the look of it, he has lost a lot of blood.  
-“h..hey...Tony…” his voice was quiet and shaky. he was trying so damn hard to be calm but …  
He put his hand on Tonys cold pale cheek .. “ hey..look at me buddy..open your eyes..” this time it worked cause he opened his eyes slowly..so slow..he was losing the battle by the look of it " you're gonna be okay ...jus....just..."he couldn't stop the tears.."jus..hang on ...okay?..you're gonna be just fine.."he was trying so hard but deep down he knew he wouldn't be fine..who was he kidding?how the hell was he supposed to be fine?  
Tony opened his mouth to say something but his sound was so weak it was fading .." wha..why,..you..c're..."  
" you know why I care..why I have always cared about you...even now..and ...and you've always known it damit.." he was shouting, crying ..he didn't know..all he knew was that his face was wet with fresh tears..he didn't know why he was saying this..even after everything, even after all that stupid things that happened and he still couldn't, didn't want to understand, he knew..why he cared about him ...everyone knew..

he was drowning in his own cruel thoughts when his weak voice was heard again.."dos'n..matter..you...did..thi's...wan'..me..ded..." he was stopped by a bloody cough that was draining out the blood that was left in his body..  
it was when the realization hit..he looked around..his shield was too bloody ..this was his fault...HE had done this....no..no...this couldn't be happening..he was shaking so bad he couldn't get the words out.." hey..you can't...you can't do this to me...you can't die...please..please,...God...please wake up..damit..wake up...please look at me"...he was sobbing now"..please...don't leave me like this..please...

  
he jolted awake with a scream..he was shaking and his forehead was covered in sweat. he looked around, he was on the couch in his apartment ..not in Siberia but still ..

he looked at his hands..they weren't bloody..it was just a dream..another nightmare..he covered his face with his hands when Bucky suddenly entered the room and turned the lights on.."you ok?"

we he didn't answer he went closer and sat on the couch beside him..he put his hand on his shoulder and made him look at him..he looked shaken..pale..scared..nothing like the Steve he knew.." another nightmare?" he asked with a softer voice..  
"I ..I just..I'm sorry ..it's just.." he couldn't speak he didn't want to..at least not now because the images kept playing on his mind...  
"hey...it's okay.."  
he closed his eyes for a second, then with a tired voice asked.."why are you awake?"  
"there..there's something?"

he knew this tone.."what is it?"  
"well...Clint called..they're going back to New York...Ross asked them..looks like there's a problem..in New York..they want the team back...AND me."  
"what about the accords?"  
"he said it was government's decision..for now..seems like whatever it is, it's big or at least big enough that made them change their mind." with that he stood up and walked to the door but before getting out he turned around and said" try and get some shut eye..you look terrible and tommorow...well I don't think it will be easy..you know..meetting the others after all this time..I just ..I want you to be ready for whatever is going to happen.."  
he wasn't ready..he was never going to be ready to see them again..see him again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think about this chapter..LOVE YA..


	3. chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me this long to update the new chapter..  
> love ya..

Nat was the first one to greet them.ifyou could call that greeting.it was just a cold glare and a nod which meant they should follow her. everything was just like the first day. cold, forced, too formal...  
They were all in the conference room, everyone but Tony. As always Fury was the one to explain the majority of the situation and giving them orders and all that important stuff that right now, he didn't really care about...  
everything was explained and still there was no sign of Tony..everything felt cold,frezing..no one said a word the whole meeting and even after ..they all just went to suit up and get ready to go.even clint was unbelievably silent and didn't make any wise-ass remarks, even when he had the chance to..they were all like soldiers, waiting for the commander to make a command. nothing more..  
the conference room was empty .he didn't know how long he's been lost in his thoughts when Nat called him to give him a file about the deal they had with the government and all that stupid shit he didn't really care about anymore..she was talking about the files in all that agent-assassin tone but honestly, he couldn't make out a word..he couldn't focus, at all..  
he couldn't take it anymore..he had to ask...  
-"where's To...Stark?" he interrupted her...  
-"I don't see the connection with what I was just saying"..she answered with a stone cold tone...  
she held her gaze for another second then turned around to leave when he caught her arm and asked again...  
-"please..i.. i just want to know..where is he"..he pleaded..  
-"why?"..  
-"wha..i .. I just wanted to know if he's okay..he never missed the meetings.." he tried to use that whole cool captain America tone but failed miserably...  
she looked at him with what he could only name, disgust and said.."he's fine.."  
-"well, that didn't look like so genuine.."  
she was frustrate now.." really.. Rogers?... I was wondering ...why do you even ask? you didn't seem to care about his wellness when you left him injured with a broken armor in siberia.." she said that and didn't let him say more and left the room furiously...  
he felt his heart was pounding,the room was spinning..he put his hand on the table and took some shake breathes..he had to get out of this room..her words were like a punch to the face..he had spent three years to forget what he had done or at least convince himself that he had no other choice, that he did what he had to do to save bucky ...not that he was successful at any of that but what she said was..its like there was no air in the room ..he tried to calm his breathing ..  
he was going out to the others when he saw the face he was looking for since he arrived and he would've been relieved if HE didn't look that tired..pale.skiny.there were big black bags under his eyes ..he looked older ...its like he was ten years older..he still had those stupid sunglasses and the same warm-bright smile he always had but other than that, everything else looked wrong..something was wrong ,he knew that for sure but he didn't know what it was..  
he took a step forward with shaky legs..he didn't know what to say..should he say anything? or more importantly, would he even look at him? answer him? after what he had done.."cpatain.." he said with a nod and that cool smile that only belonged to Tony Stark...  
he didn't get the chance to say anything cause he walked past him to one of the rooms..what a start...  
he was on his way out when he heard Nat's angry voice...  
-"what the hell you're doing here?"  
-"I'm going to a missiom..you coming?" he said with a grin...  
_"what are you trying to prove, Tony?" she sounded so angry and annoyed...  
-"nothing... it's just..." he took a deep breath..and tried with a calmer voice.."look I'm fine... I wouldn't risk the team's safety if I wasnt.."  
-"that's not what I'm worried about..you know that.." she said desperately..  
_"oh my God..when did you become this soft on me Natalie?..seriously, its wore that that whole agent Romanoff thing..it freaks me out.." he said with a big smirk...  
-"ha ha..so funny..don't play me stark...you're gonna take it easy today and you WILL tell me if you don't feel.." he interrupted her.." yes..yes I will..now let me goo"...  
-"shut up for a second..AND you will stay out if .."  
-"no stay out lecture again..you know I can't do that.."  
-"okay but you'll tell me if you feel tired ...that's an order.." she crossed her arms...  
-"Roger that mom...now..can we please go?..we're gonna miss the party.." he said with a wink and was already on his way to the door...  
-"yeah lets go.." she couldn't stop the smile...  
they have both left the room but he was still there..he didn't know whats going on but the pounding in his chest told him that, whatever it was, it was big...bad. and for the thousandth time, he wished he hadn't left..that he was here before...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think?what is going on?any ideas?  
> how was this chapter?please let me know what you think...


	4. chapter 4

they flew above the city to see the destruction..it looked bad.it WAS bad..whoever or whatever had planned this, was dangerous,so they were going to be prepared for the next attack, they had to be...  
-" hey...earth to Steve.." it was bucky..waving his hand in front of his eyes..when he finally looked up, he understood they had landed ..they were on the Avengers tower..every one was getting out.  
-"what's in your mind? for a second I thought you're in a coma or something.." he said and stood up with a grin on his face...  
-"its nothing..just..just thinking.."  
-"don't fool me..what's wrong?..did anyone say something?"  
-"what?..no..i mean, they barely talk to me.." they made their way out of the jet...  
-"look..you should give it time..everything will be okay.."  
-"time?..its been three years..nothings gonna be fine.." he ran his fingers through his hair nervously, messing his hair up...  
-"hey..everything's gonna be okay..trust me..you guys..you need time..maybe a lot of time..but everything will be the way it was before..., eventually." he tried to reassure him...  
-"yeah..eventually," he said sadly...  
THEN  
he threw the broken punching bag aside..it was the third today..or maybe the fourth..he didn't really know..he was frustrated .he didn't even know why...I mean he knew but he just couldn't do a damn thing about it..what the hell was he supposed to do?just go and tell him "hey. did you that I'm in love with you?"  
he started punching the next punching bag when he heard footsteps. he turned around and was shocked to see HIM., nice timing Stark...that's exactly what I needed right now..damit...he thought...  
he forced a smile.."hey.."  
-"hey yourself.."he said it with his casual genious_billionare_playboy_philanthropist_Tony Stark smile..after a few seconds which passed by him, walking around and scanning the gym and steve, looking at him nervously, mostly cause he has been avoiding tony for the past few weeks and he was worried he would do something stupid like right now..  
-"we need to talk.." he suddenly sounded serious...  
-"about..?"  
-"you?" he said it like it was obvious...  
now he WAS confused.." what about me?"  
-"you tell me..what's gotten into your head lately? you barely talk to anyone especially me and unlike a few weeks ago you don't hang out like you anyone, especially me.and it's like you're running away from everyone especially me.."  
he opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to find any excuses and anything at all.  
-"what? no..why would I do that?" he tried to look cool and all and added a fake, silly laugh and let's be honest, he was a terrible actor...  
-"did they...anyone..did or said something?  
-"no.." he rolled his eyes..why couldn't he just let it go?  
-"did I?"  
-"what?" he asked .confused as hell...  
_"did I say or do something ?"  
-"what..no," he said a bit louder than he expected...God..was he really a genius?...  
-"good..so would you please tell me what the hell is wrong with you.."  
great..now he was angry...  
_" nothing...can't you just leave it?" he said it kinda harshly and almost regret it immediately ...he hated the hurt look that appeared on Tony's face..it was disappeared within a second...  
-"okay..whatever.." he was about to go when he turned and addedd.." just know if you ever wanted to talk or anything...you know.."  
-"yeah... I know..thanks.." he smiled as he left...THAT was what he loved about him..well, it was one of the many many things he loved about him..how he cared about everyone and wanted them to feel okay and fine and act like he ...  
its been three days since the conversation in the gym that he found himself in the middle of his lab, ready to talk..just as ton noticed him and was walking toward him, he felt like WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?...he wished he could just run out but it was late..so he thought..screw it..be a man..spill it out..  
-"heyyy cap...deciding to join the society again?" he said with again...  
-"yeah..i guess"he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest and was wondering, it the music wasn't that loud, Tony could hear his crazy heartbeat.."umm..about what you said the other day.."he added nervously..he was freaking out and he hadn't even started..  
it looked like he expected it..he smiled and nodded to the couch..he sat in front of him .." I knew you would show up sooner or later..i mean who can ignore Tony Stark's generous offer to talk?." he teased him and something about it that made him feel more comfortable..  
-"yeah sure" he rolled his eyes but couldn't help the smile that everytime he talked to him, would suddenly appear...  
he looked at him with an expression that meant start...  
-"Um...well....have you ever been in love?" he said the last word like a whisper and suddenly the room was so hot he was sweating..and blushing?...  
-"God, I knew it...Clint owes me 30 bucks .." he sounded soo excited..  
-"I'm serious.." he sounded offended...  
-"yeah ..sorry ..sorry..well yes..I mean don't get me wrong but apart from the whole playboy thing that I said, I kinda have a heart though..so yes.."  
-"what would you do?I mean if you two were friends and you kinda knew that person would never feel the same but you just can't go on like that and have to make sure but you didn't want to ruin everything.."  
-"A..breath.....B..youre asking the wrong person cause I would probably spill everything out and ruin the whole thing ..BUT..i still think its the best way..you know..if its hurting you and all then you have to say and ..you can't be sure..she might love you as well.."  
-"he.." he said it before he could stop himself...  
-"wow..."his eyes wide and he looked shocked?,surprised?..both?  
-"I didn't expect that.." he added...  
-"is that awkward or something now?" he was sweating and blushing...  
-"no...no..not at all... I was just surprised that's all..so..next question.."  
-"what do I do?" he asked, desperately...  
-"simple..I love you...just jump and.."  
-"I love you.."he said all of a sudden. and didn't know what happened but suddenly there was so little space between them and he looked at his shocked eyes and then at his lips and closed the distance between them...  
it's like he just understood what he was doing and polled back quickly..."im...im so sorry... I didn't mean to.." and suddenly there were those lips on his again...  
after a long time they broke apart...-" you?.." he said breathlessly and shocked..it all looked like a dream or something...  
-"yeah.." he said that and couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think..


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooooo sorry it took this long to update the new chapter ..  
> here it goes...

he was starting to get worried..he was supposed to be here an hour a go..what if something had happened?what if he changed his mind? what if...  
its been nearly a month since the whole confession and all that happily ever after-ish thing and they were getting closer..no one still knew anything about them ..it was nothing obvious or special ...not yet..just some kisses then and there and that's just it...  
but it seemed like the universe had suddenly decided to throw the shell-headed enemies to new york right after they decided to start and get to know each other and actually start a thing...  
they were busier than ever ..mission after mission..meeting after meeting.. he was afraid everything would be forgoten..so one day, which they were unbelievably and unexpectedly not-so-busy,he walked to the lab with an offer...  
-"what you say about a dinner? I mean even WE deserve to have some time to ourselves.right?" he said without a hesitate...  
for a second he looked unsure..like he was going to say no and go back to work but he shook it off and with a smirk, said:" so you're officially asking me out on a date, right Rogers?.."  
-"I..think...Iam.."  
-"what took you so long?" he was trying his best to make him uncomfortable and by the look of it, he was doing it right...  
-"missions?.." he said..unsure..blushing a bit.." so ..you coming or what?"  
-"of course.." he said with a warm smile...

he looked out of the window, looking for him but there was no sign of him..he was about to call him when his name appeared on the screen..he signed ..a sign of relief and answered...  
-"hey...I've been waiting here for ages.." he tried to sound angry but he wasn't angry or if he was, now that he called, he was okay...  
-"sorry...I just..it was a situation ..an emergency I had to go there...I'm really sorry.." he sounded tired and too serious for Steve's liking..  
-"is everything ok? you alright?" he said as he stood up and walked toward the door to leave...  
-"yeah..I'm fine..just..look I'm sorry..for today, the dinner and all.." he really sounded tired..exhausted even...  
-"its okay..I was just worried that's all.."  
-"okay..again,sorry about today..maybe some othertime....um look i have to go..see you..bye.."and he hung up..before he could say anything else..he didnt know what he was so worried about, I mean Tony is a busy man..right?..its normal for him to miss a dinner..he kept telling himself that but stil, something about his tone on the phone, made him worried..like super worried..he just hopped he was wrong and everything was ok..he decided to walk to the tower to clear his mind...it was a long walk but he felt like he needed it..when he got there, it was as quiet as a grave...there was none to be seen..he looked as his watch and saw that it was past midnight..everyone was probbly sleep...he didnt know why but he found himself, going to the lab..to his surprise, it was empty..he wasnt there...he mustve been so tired...he went upstars to his room and throw himself to the bed..he didnt even have the strength to chancg so he just lay there and tried to sleep, which was kinda hard,or better say,impossible...he didnt know when he drifted but the next time he oppend his eyes, outside wanst dark anymore...his head was pounding..he needed coffee..a lot of coffee..  
he went to the kitchen and was waiting for the coffee to be ready when he heard footsteps..he turned around and saw him..he was wearing a nice,black suit and by the look of it,he just came back from a meeting or something..his eyes were red,reminding how tired he was...  
he smiled,a wide,silly smile...-"hey.."  
-"hi cap.."  
he swallowed hard... it has been a long time since he called him cap with that serious tone...  
-"can...can we talk?"he asked..he sounded nervous but still,serious..so serious it was scary..  
-"yeah sure.." he wasn't sure he wanted him to continue...  
-"look...I thought about it..a lot actually...we can't...we can't keep going like this.."  
-"what do you mean?"his heart was beating so fast and loudly,he was sure,Tony could hear it..  
-"I mean this..whatever it is...we can't..we can't be together...I don't want to..sorry...I wish we hadn't started anything so it wouldn't be this awkward..but I cant..I don't want to...anymore..sorry.." and just like that, he left...  
he just stood there didn't know what just happened was a nightmare or it was real...  
NOW  
they got back to shield with no useful information..with nothing actually..just some bunch of broken robots...  
they had no idea who was responsible for the attacks but what they did know was that, although the attacks had caused serious damage, still, it was like the attacker just wanted to play with them...there was no real purpose..or they thought...  
He wanted to talk to Nat..he had to know what's wrong..what they were talking about..he knew he couldn't talk to Tony and ask him..so, Nat, it was..but for now,they had bigger problems...tomorrow was the day..the day they were going to give people the news..about the return of team cap..Tony was going to do the talking, as always..they were told to keep their distance and try not to be seen for now..so they were just going to play the guards..they weren't sure how the public would react to the news,so they were going to make sure nothing happened..nothing out of plan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think

**Author's Note:**

> What U think?let me know..


End file.
